Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from 2016

To: My "Forehead Number"

Neon signs are obvious in their message.  It is bright, short, and attention getting.  They leave no doubt in their warning and allow us to quickly process how to proceed.

Early in my marriage my husband said he wished I had a neon sign on my forehead displaying any mood I was in, especially the unpleasant ones.  I was 20 when I got married and happy to say, had a lot of growing up to do.  As the years went on we got smarter. Why not be our own neon sign and communicate that?

So, we came up with the term, "our forehead number".

Before understanding how to determine your forehead number one must understand himself a bit.  The Food Hunger Scale is pretty elementary and well known: at zero we are painfully hungry we could eat anything and at ten we are so stuffed we could go into hibernation.  The Emotion Scale is needed to understand your "forehead number."  Are you as cool as a cat at a zero or are you at a ten throwing your fist into a wall?

I like to keep myself…

To: Letting You In

Having soft music play in my ears allows me to stay in control and in the moment.  Life is fast paced, but the music is a reminder to me to stay in the moment and feel, rather than react.

I have three little babes jotting around.  One in particular is sensitive to his outside world and how it affects him.  The thought came to me about my head phones.  It probably appears that I am trying to block the outside world out.  Son, "it is not to block you out, but a way to let you in."

We are in charge of the shells that surround ourselves.  How hard do you keep yours?  I like my soft and hard, all at the same time.  I like being permeable to the impressionable and hard to the bracing balls to dodge.  If I am not careful, my shell becomes flooded and no longer pliable to the things I need my heart to be connected to: God, myself, my husband, my children, and then others.

There are many ways to stay intuitive and grounded within ourselves.  I like practicing many: soft music; medi…

To: A World Within

When I pick up my son from the child watch at the gym, I enjoy watching him play before I interrupt his flow.  Sometimes I get lucky and get welcomed into his world that he is envisioning and experiencing.

As we grow older the ability to jump from our present world into a made up one in our mind diminishes and we are "stuck" here.  Perhaps can I say we jump into a worried future (anxiety) or into an unpleasant past (depression), much more often than diving into a playful imaginative world.

We still have that ability.  Children have a wonderful way about them keeping harmony within themselves.  Not only are they playing, but wonderful physiological changes occur within their body as they are lost conquering pirates or being the finest of princesses.

When you are physically laying upon the beaches of the Caribbean your body is able to absorb from its senses and by doing so, your equilibrium is balanced.  Smelling the fresh air, feeling the warm sand, tasting the salt in the…

To: In the Minds Eye

My mom and I went to a meditation class and the instructor used the phrase, "in the minds eye" about a million times during the class. For my mom it made her feel like she wanted to squirm out of her seat.  She    r e a l l y   needed a new phrase.  But for me, it really made me ponder what was in my "mind's eye".  "Mind's eye" refers to the human ability to visualize, i.e., to experience visual imagery; in other words, one's ability to "see" things with the mind.

A few posts ago I wrote about sleep training babies.

What is in our mind's eye, or another word, what is our focus when sleep training our babies?

Our minds eye changes according to the priority we have in any given problem we are trying to overcome.  A friend asked me my advice on how to help her children sleep.  After discussing the problems we concluded quickly it was not the children's problem, it was a parenting problem.  Many times our children's problem…

To: Threat

The feeling of threat seems to preside, when our skills to cope with what we are feeling angst about is not practiced or known.

I used to feel threatened much more than I do now.  I suppose growing up helps.  I used to be worried about what people would say or think about me.  I coped by people pleasing, perfectionism, disordered eating/ working out or other unhealthy coping skills- and because of this, I felt threatened often.  If I didn't do, behave, perform or say the right thing, according to what the other persons expectations were, I felt threat.  And when I couldn't take it any longer and would do it "the way I wanted", I felt guilty, disloyal, or in the wrong.

When I was a new mom, esp. of two young boys, I felt threatened by my own emotions.  I did not know how to cope with the constant physical, mental, and emotional demands placed upon me.  Always being in pain with my headaches and jaw pain only complicated the matters.  I felt stuck in my world I was t…

To: Saying Goodbye

I have had to say goodbye to things and people in my life that at moments or stages in my life seem to have taken everything from me.

We grow and allow things and people to be deeply roots in our heart and when asked to say good bye a part of our heart goes with it.

I can remember the first time I lost my best friend.  I still remember waving good bye and feeling as though I was saying goodbye to every memory we had made.  At five years old across town seemed too far and my heart broke for what it felt and understood.

As I grew I had to say goodbye to many things that my heart longed to keep forever.  At the time my world was crushed, but as pieces were put back together perspective became tangible, helping dull its sharp edges.

When I left for college I was driven to break up with a boy friend as I could foresee our paths would not be happy together in the future.  Our passions and desires were too different.  I knew I had to say goodbye, but my world went into a million pieces.  …

To: Getting a baby to sleep

Many friends have asked me to post on my tips to get a baby to sleep.  I have followed the same guidelines for all my babies and they begin sleeping 12 hours a night at around 12 weeks old.  That's right, a solid 12 hours without waking me up!  I will post as if I just had my baby yesterday.  I always tell moms if they are having sleep problems to revert back to the very basics, as if they just brought their baby back home, no matter the age. And follow these steps to make sure they are being met.  Many times this corrects the problem.

Also, this post is not for controversy, simply sharing what has worked for me to help others.  Another thought, I do not share the bed with my babies.  One of my number one desires is to get the baby to sleep through the night.  I am a much happier human being when I get my sleep.  Having a baby in bed for one would not let me sleep (I have a hard enough time sharing my bed with my husband, haha) and secondly, I don't want me or my bed to be my…

To: Loneliness or not so lonely

When in the globe of our own trial, it is difficult to not feel imprisoned by loneliness.  It's easy to think we've been the only one that has walked 'this' path, leaving ourselves dry of others help and console. 

What about when very few have walked our path, are we then justified to prove to be the most lonely, desperate, or upset?  Aren't these feelings what drive us away from what we desire and entraps us into a world we can not escape?  We are left bitter, alone, and angry.

But, those same feelings are also an advocate to welcome others into the once forsaken globe.

I asked a dear friend how she does not feel alone with coping with the loss of her son.  I was feeling angry and alone with the limits I have and the lack of understanding others have about chronic pain and she responded by saying, "we all have the same emotions".  Even though someone might not have lost their son, they have felt a deep sense of despair, loss, and anger and in that I k…

To: The Beginning

Writing seems to be a healthy avenue for me and after doing so, I seem to have one little triumph whether it be: more understanding, a problem solved, or just some found peace. For years friends have encouraged me to begin a blog or write a book so You can learn from me as I do my research and apply it. 

I've had a long history of chronic pain, which quickly deemed it's shadow: anxiety and depression.  It doesn't really matter which egg hatched first or how strongly genetics played it's role. I used to chase that topic, thinking it would help me discover some huge clue, but I have come to realize the importance is found in accepting what troubles me, so I can chase what will help me. 

The word overcome has seemed to deem its place in my mind and heart and no matter the amount of years I swim with the ebb and flow of my journey, I seem to never loose hope that I will overcome what challenges me. 

Aren't we what we need to overcome?  My habits, my personality, my …