Skip to main content

To: My "Forehead Number"

Neon signs are obvious in their message.  It is bright, short, and attention getting.  They leave no doubt in their warning and allow us to quickly process how to proceed.

Early in my marriage my husband said he wished I had a neon sign on my forehead displaying any mood I was in, especially the unpleasant ones.  I was 20 when I got married and happy to say, had a lot of growing up to do.  As the years went on we got smarter. Why not be our own neon sign and communicate that?

So, we came up with the term, "our forehead number".

Before understanding how to determine your forehead number one must understand himself a bit.  The Food Hunger Scale is pretty elementary and well known: at zero we are painfully hungry we could eat anything and at ten we are so stuffed we could go into hibernation.  The Emotion Scale is needed to understand your "forehead number."  Are you as cool as a cat at a zero or are you at a ten throwing your fist into a wall?

I like to keep myself between a zero and four.  When I am passing a four, I know I need to kick in some self-soothing (oh, another great post for later) techniques.  I have a bucket full according to my situation.  Staying in control is wonderful, but I am not always my ideal.

This is where our forehead numbers come into play.  Situations arise where the house is about to catch fire.  Have you been there?  Every child is screaming, emotion buckets are flooded, and what do you want to do- flee, as fast and far away as possible.

Simply hands up to the forehead or a verbal cue of, "I'm at an 8" is a clear neon sign, "I'm outta here!".  Really, a way to communicate to the spouse, "I need to go take care of myself, I'll be back." Skills are needed to know what to do when you leave the room, at another time we can discuss these thoughts.

For us, this comes in handy mostly when we are in a house full of kids.  We like teaching our children, rather than reacting to our children.  Removing ourselves, allowing the other spouse to take care of the children, and return once we are calmer, allowing us to be in control.  This is also very helpful when we are upset with each other. Why would anyone discuss things when their forehead number is high (oh, to new or unfigured out relationships)? Simply, a hon, "my forehead number is high, I need a break" works wonders.  I know the script is much different than the play, but, even with emotions rolling, it still works, as long as there is respect for each other and the plan.  Coming back cool headed (no pun intended) allows the relationship, household, or individual for respect to remain.

Perhaps through the day you can ask yourself, "what's my forehead number"?  Could you pin point yours?  Practice.  It is nice to be in control and have skills even when you are vulnerable.

Be your own neon sign and clearly communicate to those around.

Thank you,

Communication of the Emotion Scale


Popular posts from this blog

To: Getting a baby to sleep

Many friends have asked me to post on my tips to get a baby to sleep.  I have followed the same guidelines for all my babies and they begin sleeping 12 hours a night at around 12 weeks old.  That's right, a solid 12 hours without waking me up!  I will post as if I just had my baby yesterday.  I always tell moms if they are having sleep problems to revert back to the very basics, as if they just brought their baby back home, no matter the age. And follow these steps to make sure they are being met.  Many times this corrects the problem.

Also, this post is not for controversy, simply sharing what has worked for me to help others.  Another thought, I do not share the bed with my babies.  One of my number one desires is to get the baby to sleep through the night.  I am a much happier human being when I get my sleep.  Having a baby in bed for one would not let me sleep (I have a hard enough time sharing my bed with my husband, haha) and secondly, I don't want me or my bed to be my…

To: Saying Goodbye

I have had to say goodbye to things and people in my life that at moments or stages in my life seem to have taken everything from me.

We grow and allow things and people to be deeply roots in our heart and when asked to say good bye a part of our heart goes with it.

I can remember the first time I lost my best friend.  I still remember waving good bye and feeling as though I was saying goodbye to every memory we had made.  At five years old across town seemed too far and my heart broke for what it felt and understood.

As I grew I had to say goodbye to many things that my heart longed to keep forever.  At the time my world was crushed, but as pieces were put back together perspective became tangible, helping dull its sharp edges.

When I left for college I was driven to break up with a boy friend as I could foresee our paths would not be happy together in the future.  Our passions and desires were too different.  I knew I had to say goodbye, but my world went into a million pieces.  …

Pain, it's good?

Pain is good, right?  It alarms us when something is wrong and we need to take action.  So, it is good, right?

Well, something has been going wrong in my body for the last almost 15 years now I and I still have not figured out that cause.  Leaving me deemed, a chronic pain patient, lost between doctors.

In the last 6 months I have made more progress than I have in years.  I have poured money, time, energy, visited lots of doctors, had many tests done, had surgeries and procedures, and heard lots of opinions.  That didn't seem to bring me further than around the block, so I decided to look at what goes into my body- food, supplements, etc.

So far I have taken out and discover that the following triggers pain (headaches, facial pain, jaw pain, neck pain, anxiety or depression): gluten, diary, sugar, caffeine, soybeans, Brazil nuts, cashews, peanuts, sesame seeds, any artificial sweetener, Melatonin, and additives.

This process has been difficult (to be kind and gentle on my word …