Skip to main content

About Me

When I was born I had a sub-mucus cleft palate.  Without getting into the story of my speech problems, this genetic problem also left me with incorrect jaw alignment.  As a child I went through braces, but after all the doctor could do my braces came off, along with being told jaw surgery might be needed in the future.  I thought at the time that meant my teeth might not always stay straight, and I felt little concern.

Needless to say, this was only the beginning of the story that began a journey that has affected most parts of my life: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, relationships, etc.  Both for the good and the bad.

Starting in high school I began noticing my teeth were shifting and not lining up like they had in the past.  Along with those changes I began finding myself having frequent headaches.

Upon moving to college, the typical stress found when moving away from home also brought on my pre-disposed jaw problems.  With the stress, my body's weak jaw quickly adapted and "took on" the stress I felt.  I found myself with unbearable jaw pain that quickly turned into chronic headaches, neck and facial pain. 

The stress of life as a new college study did not go away and was added upon with chronic pain, and many doctor's appointments to figure out why so much pain.  I at the time did not know if this was all stemming from the jaw.

Due to years of being in a state of chronic pain simple and important things were lost: types of exercise I enjoy, hobbies, social things, changing majors in school, peace, to name a few. I found myself being angry and alone. I didn't know how to find happiness when all I felt was constant pain and being limited from the things I loved.  I became good at putting on a happy face, but inside I did not find the solace I wanted.

Over the years I've gone to countless doctors; tried different therapies and holistic approaches. I had jaw surgery which restored bone structure, but the muscles have yet to relax and restore to a non-pain state, completely.  I still have chronic pain (head, jaw, face, shoulders) and it affects many facets of my life: can't eat anything harder than a cooked egg without bringing on more pain; physical activity (reading, exercise, any pose too long, etc.); my patients (so wish we were super human!); sleeping; carrying anything heavy (my kids!); oh, the list could be endless! But over the years, despite the pain, I have learned to choose happiness.  I have learned to accept my limits.  I have gained knowledge from therapist, doctors, my own trial and error approaches.  I have looked inward and instead of blaming and being unhappy with others and myself, I have gained understanding, empathy, and love- for myself and those around me. Although, I have to constantly work on this, hence the reason for my blog.  And I am not superwoman, although, I think my kids think I am! And, at times I still need my husband to hold me, my mom to talk to, and a paper to write on because not every day can I keep my status-quo.

Even though I still live with pain, my abilities have grown and I find that even though its pain that gives me the trouble, its also what shows me my weaknesses and I am able to grow and am shown how to work toward feeling alive. 

Despite my trial, one that will be a life long journey, I understand its need and accept this is the journey I need to discover the changes I need to become who I desire.  My pain is my gift.  And I will overcome.


Popular posts from this blog

To: Getting a baby to sleep

Many friends have asked me to post on my tips to get a baby to sleep.  I have followed the same guidelines for all my babies and they begin sleeping 12 hours a night at around 12 weeks old.  That's right, a solid 12 hours without waking me up!  I will post as if I just had my baby yesterday.  I always tell moms if they are having sleep problems to revert back to the very basics, as if they just brought their baby back home, no matter the age. And follow these steps to make sure they are being met.  Many times this corrects the problem.

Also, this post is not for controversy, simply sharing what has worked for me to help others.  Another thought, I do not share the bed with my babies.  One of my number one desires is to get the baby to sleep through the night.  I am a much happier human being when I get my sleep.  Having a baby in bed for one would not let me sleep (I have a hard enough time sharing my bed with my husband, haha) and secondly, I don't want me or my bed to be my…

To: A World Within

When I pick up my son from the child watch at the gym, I enjoy watching him play before I interrupt his flow.  Sometimes I get lucky and get welcomed into his world that he is envisioning and experiencing.

As we grow older the ability to jump from our present world into a made up one in our mind diminishes and we are "stuck" here.  Perhaps can I say we jump into a worried future (anxiety) or into an unpleasant past (depression), much more often than diving into a playful imaginative world.

We still have that ability.  Children have a wonderful way about them keeping harmony within themselves.  Not only are they playing, but wonderful physiological changes occur within their body as they are lost conquering pirates or being the finest of princesses.

When you are physically laying upon the beaches of the Caribbean your body is able to absorb from its senses and by doing so, your equilibrium is balanced.  Smelling the fresh air, feeling the warm sand, tasting the salt in the…

To: Loneliness or not so lonely

When in the globe of our own trial, it is difficult to not feel imprisoned by loneliness.  It's easy to think we've been the only one that has walked 'this' path, leaving ourselves dry of others help and console. 

What about when very few have walked our path, are we then justified to prove to be the most lonely, desperate, or upset?  Aren't these feelings what drive us away from what we desire and entraps us into a world we can not escape?  We are left bitter, alone, and angry.

But, those same feelings are also an advocate to welcome others into the once forsaken globe.

I asked a dear friend how she does not feel alone with coping with the loss of her son.  I was feeling angry and alone with the limits I have and the lack of understanding others have about chronic pain and she responded by saying, "we all have the same emotions".  Even though someone might not have lost their son, they have felt a deep sense of despair, loss, and anger and in that I k…