Skip to main content

To: My "Forehead Number"

Neon signs are obvious in their message.  It is bright, short, and attention getting.  They leave no doubt in their warning and allow us to quickly process how to proceed.

Early in my marriage my husband said he wished I had a neon sign on my forehead displaying any mood I was in, especially the unpleasant ones.  I was 20 when I got married and happy to say, had a lot of growing up to do.  As the years went on we got smarter. Why not be our own neon sign and communicate that?

So, we came up with the term, "our forehead number".

Before understanding how to determine your forehead number one must understand himself a bit.  The Food Hunger Scale is pretty elementary and well known: at zero we are painfully hungry we could eat anything and at ten we are so stuffed we could go into hibernation.  The Emotion Scale is needed to understand your "forehead number."  Are you as cool as a cat at a zero or are you at a ten throwing your fist into a wall?

I like to keep myself between a zero and four.  When I am passing a four, I know I need to kick in some self-soothing (oh, another great post for later) techniques.  I have a bucket full according to my situation.  Staying in control is wonderful, but I am not always my ideal.

This is where our forehead numbers come into play.  Situations arise where the house is about to catch fire.  Have you been there?  Every child is screaming, emotion buckets are flooded, and what do you want to do- flee, as fast and far away as possible.

Simply hands up to the forehead or a verbal cue of, "I'm at an 8" is a clear neon sign, "I'm outta here!".  Really, a way to communicate to the spouse, "I need to go take care of myself, I'll be back." Skills are needed to know what to do when you leave the room, at another time we can discuss these thoughts.

For us, this comes in handy mostly when we are in a house full of kids.  We like teaching our children, rather than reacting to our children.  Removing ourselves, allowing the other spouse to take care of the children, and return once we are calmer, allowing us to be in control.  This is also very helpful when we are upset with each other. Why would anyone discuss things when their forehead number is high (oh, to new or unfigured out relationships)? Simply, a hon, "my forehead number is high, I need a break" works wonders.  I know the script is much different than the play, but, even with emotions rolling, it still works, as long as there is respect for each other and the plan.  Coming back cool headed (no pun intended) allows the relationship, household, or individual for respect to remain.

Perhaps through the day you can ask yourself, "what's my forehead number"?  Could you pin point yours?  Practice.  It is nice to be in control and have skills even when you are vulnerable.

Be your own neon sign and clearly communicate to those around.

Thank you,

Communication of the Emotion Scale




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pain, it's good?

Pain is good, right?  It alarms us when something is wrong and we need to take action.  So, it is good, right? Well, something has been going wrong in my body for the last almost 15 years now I and I still have not figured out that cause.  Leaving me deemed, a chronic pain patient, lost between doctors. In the last 6 months I have made more progress than I have in years.  I have poured money, time, energy, visited lots of doctors, had many tests done, had surgeries and procedures, and heard lots of opinions.  That didn't seem to bring me further than around the block, so I decided to look at what goes into my body- food, supplements, etc. So far I have taken out and discover that the following triggers pain (headaches, facial pain, jaw pain, neck pain, anxiety or depression): gluten, diary, sugar, caffeine, soybeans, Brazil nuts, cashews, peanuts, sesame seeds, any artificial sweetener, Melatonin, and additives. This process has been difficult (to be kin...

To: Letting You In

Having soft music play in my ears allows me to stay in control and in the moment.  Life is fast paced, but the music is a reminder to me to stay in the moment and feel, rather than react. I have three little babes jotting around.  One in particular is sensitive to his outside world and how it affects him.  The thought came to me about my head phones.  It probably appears that I am trying to block the outside world out.  Son, "it is not to block you out, but a way to let you in." We are in charge of the shells that surround ourselves.  How hard do you keep yours?  I like my soft and hard, all at the same time.  I like being permeable to the impressionable and hard to the bracing balls to dodge.  If I am not careful, my shell becomes flooded and no longer pliable to the things I need my heart to be connected to: God, myself, my husband, my children, and then others. There are many ways to stay intuitive and grounded within ourselves. ...